This post contains spoilers and may contain offensive language.
If you don’t like either, please cover your eyes now.
Apologies once again for the delay Bite Clubbers. I will be back on schedule starting this week so hopefully there won’t be any more snafus. *crosses fingers* Well after watching Episode 8 I am officially speechless and dumbfounded. Let’s get to the recap.
We start the episode with Sookie screaming her head off in the hospital room upon seeing Bill standing over her. Once she calms down she asks everyone to leave the room so that she can talk to Bill. It’s ends up being a pretty heart wrenching conversation where they end up parting ways. Back at home, Sookie has Alcide to keep her company and watch over her. Jason and Andy walk in and tell her to press charges against Bill. Sookie refuses and Jason becomes upset. He threatens to kill Bill if he comes anywhere near her. Sookie chastises him for talking that way. He storms out of the house and Sookie yells not to do anything stupid. Next day Sookie is laying out getting some sun and crying when Tara comes by and lays down with her. They reminisce about how they used to do that when they were younger. They get onto the subject of Bill and Tara practically jumps down her throat and gives her a hard time. Sookie ends the conversation because she doesn’t want to fight with her. Tara storms off when Sookie asks her to talk about what happened. Sookie’s sitting on the porch when Alcide gets a call that Debbie burned down his sister’s salon. He tells Sookie that he needs to leave and asks her to come with him. She says she can’t keep running all her life. They embrace and come thisclose to kissing but, alas he heads off to go help his family. Later that night Sookie’s looking through a photo album of her and Bill when she hears someone at the back door. When the door opens Hadley walks in. Hadley informs Sookie that Russell is coming after her. She says she's sorry and takes off but, before she does Sookie picks up on her thought about telling them what she is. Sookie’s keeping watch over her house when she hears two wolves howl. We see the wolves and Debbie coming up behind them. They kick down her door and the wolves are met by Bill and Jessica. While they’re distracted, Debbie heads up the stairs to find Sookie. Why she doesn’t blow a hole in the wench I’ll never know. Anyway, they start slapping and punching each other. Bill kills one of the werewolves and Jessica runs outside to chase down the other one. Unfortunately for her, Russell grabs her and wants Bill to trade Sookie for Jessica. Bill tells him they should settle this like men and Russell responds by biting Jessica. He throws her to the wolves and she high tails it out of there with the wolf on her heels. So while Russell is teaching Bill who’s boss, Sookie and Debbie are going at it like a bunch of female wrestlers. Sookie cuts the hooker and holds her at gunpoint (or shotgun point). She shoots once, misses and tells Debbie to get out of her house because the next time she won’t miss. (Yeah, I don’t get it either). Debbie jumps out the window and runs off. Russell feels that something is wrong with Talbot. So he stops beating on Bill and flies off to see what's up. Bill rushes upstairs to check on Sookie and they start to …. make out. O_o Jessica ends up killing the wolf and then we cut back to Sookie and Bill getting it on. Double O_o! And just like that it turned into soft core porn.
Bill / Jessica
Jessica is hugging Bill upon his return home and tells him how much she missed him. She wants to talk about everything and asks him not to be mad at her. He interrupts her and tells her to pack her things. She looks at him confused and asks where they’re going. He tells her he’s not going anywhere, she is. He tells her that he’s releasing her. She freaks out and they start arguing about how she’s not going anywhere and that he’s the only maker she has. He says that he can’t protect her and that he’s not good to her. She responds by saying that she’s not good either and tells him about draining someone and how she had to learn on her own to control her hunger. She starts crying and tells Bill that she doesn’t want to be alone anymore. Bill appears to have a change of heart and walks over to console her. Next night he’s sparring with Jessica and teaching her how to defend herself. They take a break and start to talk about Sookie. Bill tells her it’s over and that if she needs him he’ll be able to sense it.
Lafayette tries to comfort Tara and get her to talk about what happened to her. She says that when she’s ready to talk about it she’ll let him know. She tells him that she was fighting to survive and that she hadn’t realized until this ordeal how much she wanted to live. Lafayette tells her that she’s going to stay with him. Tara wakes up the next day and takes a shower. While in the shower Franklin pops up and they start making out. Fortunately, it’s just another dream sequence and Tara wakes up in a cold sweat. She heads over to Sookie’s house and after a few pleasantries ends up leaving upset after getting into an argument with her. Tara heads into work and drops a bottle a True Blood when she has a flashback of Franklin. She heads to the back to clean herself off and Sam ends up scaring the hell out of her. He tells her it’s going to be okay and hugs her while she cries on his shoulder.
Sam and Tommy are asleep at the house Sam let his family use when a smell in the air wakes him up. He looks out the front door and sees Melinda (in dog form). He opens the door and she shifts so that he’s forced to let her in the house. She packs up her belongings and approaches Tommy. He shrinks out of her grasp. She tells him she still loves him and always will. Before she walks out the door she asks Sam for money. He begrudgingly gives it to her and tells her to get the hell out of town. Once she leaves Tommy breaks down and starts crying. Sam walks over and puts his hand on his shoulder to offer some comfort. They head into work that night and he asks Tommy to keep an eye on Tara and get her whatever she needs. Sam then has to get in between Hoyt and Tommy after Tommy insults Hoyt over Jessica. Sam drags him back to his office and tells him to settle down and stop looking for trouble and start thinking about his future. Calvin and Fenton (I think that’s his name) walk into Merlotte’s looking for Crystal. Sam tells him he hasn’t seen her and asks them to leave. Tommy steps up to get his brother’s back. Calvin calls him out as a shifter and tells him that if he’s finds out he’s lying he’s going to do unpleasant things to his nether region.
The day after having a fight with Sookie over Bill, Jason gets a knock on his door from none other than a black eyed, soaking wet Crystal. She asks him if she can use his truck. He tells her that he won’t give her his truck unless she tells him what happened. She tells him that she ended up with a black eye because she told her fiancé that she wasn’t going to marry him anymore. Jason gets all giddy when he hears that she’s now single. He tells her that something about her makes him feel like he’s home. She tells him to give her his keys and he tells her that she’s not going anywhere. He says that he’ll drive her anywhere she wants but, that he feels like she wants to stay there with him. She confirms his feeling with a really hot couch make out session. After their sexy time Crystal tells Jason that she needs to get going before they show up and hurt them. He tells her that’s not going to happen because they’re together now and nothing’s going to happen to her. He takes her to the shower and he heads out with a shotgun in his hand. He heads over to Hot Shot and runs into Calvin. He threatens him to stay away from Crystal or he’ll have the whole Sheriff’s department come break up his little freak show.
While Sophie-Anne is being moved into Russell’s estate, Eric overhears a heated exchange between Talbot and Russell regarding Russell killing the Magister. Eric interrupts the conversation to inform Russell that there is a werebitch in his study. Debbie tells Russell that they killed Cooter. She asks him if she can go after them. Russell asks for Eric’s advice and Eric suggests rethinking the idea after the information they have on Sookie. Russell wants to have her as his secret weapon. Eric thinks he should leave her out of it because she’s unpredictable and untrustworthy. The King gets in Eric’s face and questions his loyalty after he’s the one who betrayed his queen. Eric gets down on his knees (which is crazy, I know) and convinces the King that he’s been searching for a leader to unite the vampires. He continues to fan the King’s ego and promises to show him how deep his loyalty runs. Eric stays up to give Hadley a message to deliver to Sookie. He warns her to tell her nothing more other than the message. Later that evening Eric is caught in the middle of one of Talbot’s hissy fits with the King. Before it can get any worse Eric suggests keeping Talbot company while the King runs his errands. Eric gets stuck playing chess with Talbot. Once he checkmates him Talbot says he’s bored. He tells Eric to take off his clothes. (Which I’m sure set hearts a flutterin’). Eric asks for a little privacy and Talbot sends the guards away. He starts a little seductive strip tease and then BAM…we’ve got our second m/m kiss of the season. (Which I was totally unprepared for by the way). And finally we get to see Eric in all his glory…with another dude. What? He then exacts his revenge on Talbot for what Russell did to his family.
Terry singing to Arlene’s stomach
Nice to see there's one relatively normal couple on the show.
Sexual tension between Sookie and Alcide
I'd let him hold me in his arms and sniff my neck anytime.
Jason defending Crystal’s honor
He may not be bright but he sure is a sweetheart.
The G.L.O.W. match (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling)
What the hell was that all about? Why didn't she just take her out when she had the chance??
Debbie still being alive
Seriously. Can anyone explain this to me?
Calvin being made into a villain
They lost me on this one.
Favorite One Liners
‘Excited? Franklin’s brains won’t wash off the guest linens, I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo, and that Sookie bitch staked Lorena. I’ve had enough excitement. Thank you.’
-Talbot to Russell
‘I know you’re tougher than a one-eared alley cat but, I ain’t leaving you alone right now.’
-Alcide to Sookie
‘Sookie you need to press charges. What he did to you that’s domestic..something.’
-Jason to Sookie
‘You know what you sound like? One of those sad country love songs by dumb bitches who let their men cheat and beat on them all for the sake of true love.'
-Tara to Sookie
‘Waving a kitchen knife is a hell of way to say you care.’
-Lafayette to Jesus
Videos For Your Viewing Pleasure
I’m almost scared to ask but, what did you all think of Sunday’s episode? Are you as speechless and dumbfounded as I am?