True Blood Recap: Episode 1 - She's Not There

BEWARE!  SPOILERS AHEAD!  YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

I have a confession to make Bite Clubbers.  I'm still in shock over the season 4 premiere.  I literally watched most of it with my mouth hanging open.  Oh what you don't believe me?  Check out my notes:

Sometimes it felt like I was watching a completely different show with the same cast of characters.  Sort of like an alternate universe if you will.  Between you and me, I think I kinda liked it.  I know the purists are going to be flipping their wigs about the craziness that went down but, I liked that Alan Ball and his team flipped the script on us.  So let's get to nitty gritty shall we?

Sookie

Last season ended with Sookie poofing out of existence.  This season begins with us finding out exactly where she went.  I'm sure you're not shocked when I tell you she's in THE Fairy Utopia folks.  Okay fine maybe it's not called Fairy Utopia but, she's definitely in the realm of the Fae.  Everything's all peaceful and beautiful and fairy-y.  No visit to fairy is complete without some special guest appearances.  First up, we've got bellboy Barry.  Who knew he had a little fairy in him.  *snort*  Sookie and Barry are chit chatting when they're offered lumiere fruit (aka light fruit).  They're basically glowing apples.  Barry's all about the light fruit so he dives right in.  Sookie's not quite sold on the idea of eating the light fruit (they're glowing apples guys - I can't say I blame her).  She looks up from examining said fruit and here's where special guest appearance number two comes in.  Sitting across the yard going to town on some light fruit of his own is none other than her grandfather.  That's right folks.  I said her grandfather.  Turns out dude got beamed into the realm of Fae 20 years ago and has been there ever since.  Are you thinking, 'WTF?' yet?  No?  You will in a second.  Anywhoozle, she gets to talkin' to granddaddy Earl and catching him up on what's happened with the Stackhouses.  Sookie starts seeing grotesque visions of the things around her and starts putting two and two together.  She mentally tells her grandpa that they're in a trap.  ENTER MAB QUEEN OF THE FAE.  Mab tells Sookie that she's the one that sent for her.  She no longer wants anyone with fairy blood cavorting on Earth after the 'vampire breach incident' so she's recruiting humans for the harvest.  Dun dun dun!  Sookie's not down with the harvesting of humans but, Mab doesn't want to hear it.  She tries to force light fruit down Sookie's throat and ends up getting a Sookie blast to the face.  This causes whatever illusion their casting to fade and we see the Fae for what they really are: ugly, disfigured troll like creatures.  O_o  So Sook and her grandpa break out into a full out sprint for their lives.  They end up running into Claude (uh, yes THAT Claude) and a group of Fae who don't agree with Mab's attempt to close the portal to Earth forever.  He helps her and her grandpa get through the portal and back to Bon Temps.  The second her pretty southern feet hit the floor both Eric and Bill sense it.  Unfortunately, grandpa's been eating the light fruit so Sookie has to watch her grandfather die on top of the grave where her parents and grandmother are buried.  Talk about tragic.  Before he dies he asks her to give his pocket watch to Jason.  Sookie picks herself up and heads home.  When she gets to her house she sees that it's in the process of being fixed up.  I'm talkin' the works: cleaned up, fresh paint, new furniture, etc.  Jason walks in dressed in full cop gear and hugs her so tight he almost break a rib.  Sookie's a bit stunned by his reaction.  And here's where you're going to say, 'WTF!' if you haven't already.  Jason informs Sookie that she's been gone for A YEAR and as a result ended up selling the house.  Go ahead.  Let it out.  I'll wait.  She heads for the porch after giving Jason the time and is met by her vampire suitors.  Of course they start to squabble like children.  Bill demands that Eric leave but, before he does he mentions that everyone who claims to love her gave up on her EXCEPT him.  Once he leaves Andy shows up freaking out as only Andy can.  He starts bombarding her with questions when Bill interjects and tells him she's been on Super Top Secret vampire business.  Next day she makes the rounds at Merlotte's to see everyone.  She also meets with Portia Bellefleur to figure out if there's a way she can get back her house.  Later that night she's changing into her PJs when she's surprised by a visit from Mr. Eric Northman.  He goes on to inform her that the person who owns her house is him which in Eric logic means he now owns her.  Oh schnap!

Bill

In the year that Sookie's been gone, Bill has been a very busy boy.  He's into politics now.  We get to see him in action when he holds a press conference for the good citizens of Bon Temps.  But that's not all folks.  Turns out our Bill is the new King and no I'm not talking Elvis.  Know what that means?  Our beloved viking now reports to Bill.  I know, nuts!

Eric

So aside from being the owner of Sookie's house and having to report to someone who used to be his subordinate, Eric's up to his ears in PR for the American Vampire League.

Alcide

*sigh*  No sign of that sexy piece of man meat yet.  BOOOO HBO!

Jason

In the year that Sookie's been gone Jason has become quite an upstanding guy.  He's now a real cop.  He tries to keep Andy off the V.  Yes, you read that right.  Crazy, I know.  He also has been taking care of the folks in Hot Shot.  On one of his trips to drop off food, one of the kids tells him the freezer's not working.  When he goes to check it out someone bops him over the head with a shovel and locks him in the freezer.  That's right.  You guessed it.  Jason is about to be in really bad situation.

Pam

Oh Pam.  What can I say other than she's back in full pastel and her wit is sharper than ever.  Something tells me she's going to be Jessica's sidekick this season.  Actually it's probably the other way around.  Either way, I say bring on the Pam.

Jessica

Our baby vamp is back and is trying her best to get used to the whole living with a human thing.  They have a bit of a blowout but are quick to laugh it off.  They make an adorable couple but, we begin to see signs of strain for Jessica during a night out on the town with Hoyt.  Pam is quick to point out her struggle with her vampire nature even though Jess is in denial about it.

Sam

We get a couple of quick glimpses of Sam during this episode.  First time we see him is when he's giving Sookie a hard time for disappearing.  The next time we see him he's having dinner with some shifter friends.  After some interesting dinner conversation they all strip down and take a run through the woods as majestic horses.  Those crazy shifters.

Tara

I'm about to blow your minds.  You remember Tara takes off at the end of last season, right?  Well we find out that she never returns to Bon Temps and instead travels from place to place eventually settling in New Orleans.  We also find out that she's become a cage fighter.  O_o  And that she's in a relationship with....another woman.  O_o  She finds out Sookie has come back but, doesn't seem willing to return to see her.

Lafayette

Lafayette is back and flamboyant as ever!  He's still with Jesus (meh) and still a cook at Merlotte's.  Jesus convinces Lafayette to meet his coven.  During their first meeting with the group, the leader of the coven, ends up channeling Eddie the vampire which totally freaks Lafayette out.  He ends up taking off.  The next day Jesus convinces him to give the group another chance.  During this visit they end up reanimating Marnie's familiar, a parrot named Minerva.  This sets the tone for what's going to go down this season.

Arlene & Terry

So Arlene and Terry get married and are raising what Arlene feels is a very troubled baby.  Terry reassures her that Mickey is a good baby.  Ya'll thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Favorite Quotes

'Okay, if your job is to look after me, can I just say you suck.'
-Sookie to Claudine

'Smell like where old air fresheners go to die.'
-Lafayette to Jesus

'Decapitating Barbie dolls.  What the hell kinda baby does that?
-Arlene to Terry

'That tree with a plaid shirt, it has a name?'
-Pam to Jessica

'The way you're eye f*ckin' fang bangers from across the room, that's especially romantic.'
-Pam to Jessica

'Sookie, you are mine.'
-Eric to Sookie

Video Extras

Jessica's Blog: A House Is Not a Home

Ep. 38 Preview

Okay guys I totally need to discuss all this new info with you.  What did you think of the season premiere.  What did you like?  What did you hate?  Inquiring minds NEED TO KNOW!!